Road Trip Day Six

 8/15/2012

"Leap and the Net Shall Appear"

~John Burroughs"

After a late night phone call from a dear friend that I had been trying to reach, I determined that it was no longer necessary to wake up at 5am.  By the time I went to bed last night I knew there was no way I was waking up early for a bike ride.  I woke up, packed, checked out of my hotel, and left to meet my friend (thanks Skout!) for a cup of joe.  I had anticipated the possibility of this particular meet up for weeks.  It didn't disappoint.   I don't know what time he got there, but we stayed and visited until 4pm.  Even after hours of visiting I felt reluctant to leave.  We hugged each other goodbye; more than once (he gives great hugs).  Then I set off again for the open road.  This time I knew I would crash at another state park, but I had no idea yet which one.  I decided I would drive until 6pm, then stop so I could hit some trails with the bike before it gets dark.  6 turned to 7, but I finally arrived at Lebanon State Park.  I was still dressed in skinny jeans and high heels, but I was determined to get the tent set up so I could bike.  No one was around to see it, but I'm sure I was quite a site running deftly around in heels and getting the tent up in 5 minutes or less.  Promise.  I was that determined.  And I rocked it.  It would have made great photography for one of those posters you see that says something like this:  "This is what I felt like setting up the tent in heels.  This is what I actually looked like setting up the tent in heels." 

 I knew it would get dark soon, so I rode all around the park (turns out it's not that big), but stayed on the paved roads.  All the trails I found said no bicycles (wah-wah).  I'll stop at the office in the morning, but if there are no bike trails here I'll try to leave as quick as I can for the nearest state park that does have trails.

Some other campers are near me now setting up camp.  This place is practically deserted!  Why the hell did they have to grab a spot next to me?  Asshats.

When I drove out here I was going well over the speed limit most of the way.  Leaving Chattanooga today I kept finding myself driving under the speed limit.  I smiled.  I display a lot of expression when I am in deep thought; often unaware until someone informs me.  I began this trip a bit anxious and nervous about the unknown.  I'm turning back to close the gap between myself and home.  Now I'm slowing down, taking it all in, and relishing what has been and what will be.  My journey is not over yet, but the days are winding down.  

Another valuable piece of advice my college friend gave me was, "Fake it 'til you make it!"  It's come in handy often.  If you're feeling less than confident, remember what it's like when you are confident.  You already know how to be confident, so fake it 'til you make it!  It's surprising when you're calm and comfortable before you know it.   And in retrospect you see that you never really had to fake it; you just believed in yourself.
It wasn't so long ago that I found myself becoming bitter in attitude.  Life had sprung a lot of surprises on me at a time when I was fixated on a plan of my own.  It rocked my reality and left me stumbling blindly for several years; struggling to hold onto hope.  I had been walking through a desert, and wondering if I might die from thirst.  

I've recently stepped into an oasis.  My freedom to choose increases daily.  I just keep asking myself, "What have you got to lose?"

Well, I've been braver tonight.  I've sat at a picnic table outside my tent as I type.  However, I can hear creatures stirring in the woods now, so I'm calling it a night.