8/16/2012
"That which you fear the most, could meet you halfway."
~Eddie Vedder~
Today's quote inspired by Tyler Lee.
The time on the road in between destinations has been full of reflection. It's been a delicious balance of companionship and solitude. I've been mulling some things over, so I haven't mentioned them yet, as the ideas have still been rolling around in my mind, and the words have struggled to rise up from my emotions. The friend I was so excited to meet in Chattanooga? It turns out he's married. I didn't know that when I met him, although it had crossed my mind more than once. I put it all together the day after I left the 'Noog (as they call it in Chattanooga). I've tried to shake it off, as I haven't wanted to allow this to spoil my trip.
It hasn't though. I would be a fool to let something like that take away from the beauty of this journey. I've definitely felt a heaviness in my heart at times, but then I tell myself a guy like that isn't worth my sorrow. I'll save my sorrow for things I truly miss; when I look back I may not even remember him specifically. I'll remember instead the wisdom I take away from this experience. I'll remember that life goes on, that we are all broken in our own way, and that I still have so many more travels to look forward to on the journey of life.
I was listening to a song by JJ Heller yesterday that says it well.
"Cloudy days will blow away
And the sky will not always be gray
If I have sunshine
A rainbow is coming my way"
Or Hellen Keller says it like this:
"Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows"
I would say, "What a shame," but the truth is, most of us have been guilty of searching for love in all the wrong places at one point or another in life. He has some wonderful qualities and character traits; otherwise I wouldn't have been attracted to him in the first place. He also turned me on to many wonderful music artists I had never before heard of. I'm grateful for all of those things. It's a day for quotes I guess because now I'm thinking of this:
"I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are truly good at heart."
~Anne Frank~
I'm bathing in the light of forgiveness today. Grace and mercy shine bright.
I would like to live extending as much grace and mercy to others as I receive myself. This is sometimes easier said than done. This time however, probably because of my current state of mind, it feels more simple. Many times I have looked everywhere for an escape; aside from looking within my own heart. Stubbornly holding on to what I know is not good for me, instead of facing what I know to be true and good. Afraid to let go and afraid to look within.
We are all fellow travelers; all of us stumbling along the debris on our own trail. Our paths often intersect; and sometimes we collide.
If you're reading this dear friend....I forgive you. I hope you allow yourself grace and discovery as well, so you might find the peace you seek. It's all about the journey.
In my world....today is about letting go.
'Til we know the pain of the broken heart
We won't walk through fires we didn't start
So just hold on to the way it is tonight
We can learn to love the darkness and the light
I'm on your side
~Bo Rinehart~
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