I'm sad tonight; really sad. I've tried to hide from it, but it has caught up to me. I don't want to have regrets, but every so often I think on things that might have been. I'm running from sadness, when running is why I feel sad in the first place.
I don't know what your plan is, I just know sometimes it hurts. Growing pains I guess. Sometimes I don't see the growth through the pain. So I get scared and confused and I run.....away from others, and away from you. I don't run to your arms anymore. I feel like I'm not familiar with how that feels anymore.....I've forgotten your love.
It's been my experience that love really hurts. Even yours. But I need it. I know that. I've been fighting for my need for others to grow bigger than my fears. I can imagine you telling me to let it go. I want to. So why don't I?
I don't want to fight, but it feels natural. Like I'm used to having to save myself. I just want to be free. Will you please show me the way? I know you don't save us from all the pain, but will you hold me through it? I can't do it on my own any longer...
Betty
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