Nutty Bars....and other Nonsense

We've found a new favorite.  My raccoon friend loves Nutty Bars and sweet potato fries.  The Nutty  Bars are most definitely his favorite though.  I asked my kids last night what we should name the raccoon.  My son says, "Name.............um.......Raccoon."  My daughter and I laugh and she says, "Maybe we should call him Jerry.  Wait, is it a boy?"  I tell her I'm not sure, but if we want it it to be a girl we can certainly call the coon Cherry instead.
So the baby squirrels?  There are more than 2 of them.  I usually just see 2 of them at once.  This morning there were at least 4 of them chasing each other out of the V in the tree.  Although one of them is braver than the rest, none of them will dare to venture more than 4 feet from the hole in the tree they all crawl out of.
Out and about yesterday I stopped at a restaurant with my son for lunch.  He wanted to use the men's restroom; becasue obviously urinals are awesome.  I let him go in and I sat outside on a bench to wait outside the door.  5 minutes later, listening to him sing while he goes, I'm still sitting and waiting.  I'm getting ready to ask him if everything is ok when I hear him shouting, "A little help here.   Mooooom!  A little help here!"  I peek into the bathroom and see him standing in front of me butt naked, pointing to his shirt that he has tossed into the air; it landed on a ledge on the wall and he can't reach it.  I get it down and give it to him.  He puts it on and continues, "A little help here.  I need to wash my hands."  I inform him that I am not allowed in the men's room, and that if he wants my help washing his hands he'll have to go into the girl's room with me.  After much explaining, I finally convince him; he's stubborn like his mother.
I was up late last night, chatting with a friend.  Up early this morning; and it's a beautiful day!  I'm sitting on the porch now thinking about how amazing a bike ride will be when I finish my coffee.  I'm thinking about this as I walk in to refill my coffee and Almond Joy creamer (my guilty pleasure).  Walking to the front door I see a trail of some liquid from the kitchen to the front door; splattered all over my freshly mopped floor.  Having kids often keeps me from having a clean house, but the coffee stains on the floor from the kitchen to the front door?  Those are mine.  It doesn't matter how often I mop them up, I can't seem to make the trip without spilling again.  In fact, I can't seem to be mobile with my coffee at all without spilling it.  Every time I wear a white dress and walk to my car, I'm wearing coffee on my front side before I ever arrive at my destination.  Ah well, the coffee can wait.  My bike is calling.....

My Personal Zoo....and a Letter for a Dear Friend

My raccoon friend still comes to visit every night.  He loves sunflower seeds, craisins, Kashi Dark Chocolate Oatmeal cookies, cashews, prunes, and almonds.  He doesn't care for sidewalk chalk; but he'll try it.  Last night he ran out of food, so he came over to me again and reached across the bench to get my attention.  He shoved my pack of cigarettes towards me.  I asked him what he wanted.  He shoved my cigarettes again.  So, I finally got up and went in the house to get him more food.  When I came out with banana oat cereal and prunes he didn't seem too happy as he dug through the bowl, tossing the prunes and cereal in search for sunflower seeds.  I finally conceded that I have spoiled this raccoon, and I got up and went inside to get the last of my trail mix, chock full of sunflower seeds; his favorite.
I've finally figured out why the squirrel in my tree goes crazy whenever the raccoon, a cat, or a dog comes around.  She has babies!  2 little baby squirrels crawled out of the V in the tree last night.  Cutest little guys ever; probably small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.  They're still incredibly cautious, as they run back to safety whenever they see the slightest movement.

My neighbor's daughter came over last night just after dark.  I was sitting on my porch, waiting for the zoo to come alive around me.  I quickly made room for her on my patio furniture when I realized she had tears in her eyes.  We spoke of life and all the pressure it sometimes places on our shoulders.  We spoke of the realities of these pressures, the human desire to escape them, and our ability to shift our perspective and see them from a new, lighter angle.  We laughed, we shared, tears were shed, and I gave her 2 big hugs before she left to get ready for bed.  Girl, if you are reading this; this one's for you....

For starters, here's a song for you....

Dear Friend,

Growing up is so damn hard.  I wish I could tell you life was easy.  I wish I could tell you your heart will never be broken.  I wish I could tell you that people will always be kind.  I would be a liar if I said these things to you though, because your world will be full pain as well as pleasure.  Every mother's wish is to protect her children from the painful things in life.  Alas, we also know so many pains are inescapable.  So we stand back, hands tied, tears in our eyes, and shackles on our hearts.  We watch as you fall, and trust that you will stand on two feet again.  It's a painful process; for all involved.
Sometimes you will feel alone.  Sometimes you will feel like the world stands against you.  In these times I encourage you to look up and look within.  There will be times when the only voice of encouragement we hear is our own; and sometimes the voice we hear isn't very encouraging at all.
If you listen closely though, you will hear the Truth in your heart.  It's a gentle whisper that often feels impossible to hear through the roar of the pain.  When you hear this voice, lay your troubles down.  Like a player in a game of poker, spread your cards on the table and reveal what you've got; whether it's a winning hand or not.  Lay them down without shame.  Lay them down knowing you gave it your best shot, and remembering that you won't always be the last one out.
I look at you and I see beauty; inside and out.  I see compassion, drive, and character.  Although I love to see you smile, last night it felt good to see you cry.  We all need a little release from time to time.  There's no shame in asking for a hand to hold.  There is no let-down in Truth.  Mother Teresa said, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."  Real Truth is love.  Real Truth leaves us vulnerable, and that can be a scary place to be.
Flip the coin, if you will.  Look at the other side.  There you will see all that you have to gain.  The reward is worth the risk, and although you may struggle to see that now, you will soon find yourself on the other side of the unknown.  In retrospect, you will smile when you feel the wisdom you have gained from your experience.  You will feel it well up within your heart like a strength that is not your own; because it's not.  Because you were never really alone....

Love,
Betty

Risk the Ocean

The original plan was to take my kids on a mini camping adventure over this last weekend.  My son wasn't feeling so hot, and I was still all spotted with poison oak (never have worn those new swimsuits....I would look silly in them now while covered in polka dots), so we changed plans and stayed home for the weekend.  Oh it was a hard decision....I really wanted to see NeedToBreathe play live.  Alas, I've already seen them live 4 times now, so I guess I can hold off this once.
It was a good decision.  Not only did I save some cash, but sales for my business took off this weekend, so it's good that I'm home to ship out packages today.
My raccoon friend is still coming back every night.  Last night he brought the larger neighborhood raccoon with him.  This one is much bigger and leaves me feeling a little more tense sharing the porch with him, as he doesn't seem as friendly.  For starters, he hisses when you get close, and when he stands on his hind legs and puffs himself up he is huge!  I was armed last night though; with Fig Newtons and Kashi Dark Chocolate Oatmeal cookies.  Ah shit, these raccoons aren't going anywhere are they?  Why would they if I continue to leave food out for them on a nightly basis?  My love for animals and nature has a tendency to bite me in the ass.
I've been showing off my poison oak and bruised legs like they are battle scars.  I've also started to feel like a broken record as I tell everyone I know and meet about my latest road trip.  When I'm driving down the road now and look in the rear view mirror, I even feel a bit sad to see my bike is no longer riding on the back of the car.  I've seriously fallen in love with my bike this summer.  If it wasn't so metal, cold, hard, and bulky....I'd like to hug it.
I don't feel like I've done much since I've been home, aside from housework and being mom.  I've spent the last week contemplating my trip and my current reality.  Sitting at home now feels almost more dull than ever as I think about how I'd like to get up and start writing some new amazing chapters in my life.  I don't think I need to road trip every weekend in order to come up with some exciting material, but I am certainly ready to start writing a life story that involves a lot more getting off my ass, getting out, and taking risks or trying new things.  David Crowder says it so well in his song, "Sometimes," when he says, "Just set your sail, let's risk the ocean....there's only grace."  You can listen to it here.  It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day mundane routines in life....today my prayer is that my life never grows stale because I've gotten caught up in the struggles of life or grown weary of the monotony; but rather that I continue to step outside of comforts, cross paths with others, and know that if my life should be a story worth reading.....my character must be one of substance.

He's Back....

I'm sitting on my porch tonight when the raccoon comes back again.  Only this time my son has left a bowl on the porch with Fig Newtons in it.  The raccoon is in heaven.  When he runs out I try to sneak by and into the house to get some more for him.  He gets frightened and runs to a nearby tree and climbs.  A cat appears out of nowhere and chases the raccoon up the tree.  I hear the raccoon making a fuss.  Soon a squirrel comes down the tree and he starts getting onto the cat as well.  The smart raccoon has outwitted them both, as he's gone now and I'm left staring at a curious stray cat cornering an angry squirrel  in the tree.  Soon they all go back to where they came from.
Fast forward about an hour.  The raccoon is back and he's eating Fig Newtons again.  Suddenly I hear him moving closer, and I look up in time to see him reaching across the patio bench I am sitting on.  He grabs my headphones and starts to pull them towards him!  I gently and slowly reach out and take them and say, "No.  Those are mine.  You can't have them."  Why the hell I'm talking to a raccoon....I'm just not sure.  But he appears to listen, as he lets them go and looks at me.  I ask him if he wants more Fig Newtons.  Awww...he's just a little guy.  Of course he wants a treat.
I go in to get him some more, and I bring him some fresh cherries too.  He chews on one of the Fig Newtons, then tosses it.  Then he picks up a cherry and rolls it around and plays with it.  Then he tries to roll around the bottle of Ivy Dry I left lying on the porch.  This goes on for another 5 minutes; he's just playing!  He's so cute!  Then I guess he was full and maybe even tired, because he left all the food behind and left down the front steps to go back to wherever he comes from.  I hope I don't end up regretting feeding him...but I'll still leave the food outside for when he comes back.

Oh, Kids....

8/22/2012

It's the second night in a row that I've sat on my porch and watched a small raccoon walk up, climb into my tub of bird food, and help himself to dinner.  He shells the sunflower seeds one at a time.  He's not the least bit frightened of me, nor me of him.  He's pretty adorable, really.  

So, it's back to the grind.  I had a multitude of packages to ship out after my extended vacation.  I should have shipped them Monday, but it's been a challenge to pull my mind from vacation and back to reality.  I just feel like reality is out there in the woods; or at least I would like for it to be.  

My son has been a bit cranky since his return.  Transitions are not always his strong point.  He's so damn cute though.  He was in the bathroom at a little restaurant we stopped at tonight.  I walk in because he's taking a while, and he's stark naked sitting on the toilet.  He stands up to get dressed, and of course I have to remind him to wipe his ass.  He seems to feel that this extra step is often a waste of time.  I assure him it's not and tell him to get his clothes on.  Some 80's song is playing on the speakers overhead, and he starts to do a little shimmy and tells me to dance as well.  I'm standing there in the doorway of the men's bathroom, giggling and dancing while my son stands half naked in front of me doing his own little wiggle dance.  He tells me, "I love this song!"  Sure you do Romeo.  You love anything with a good beat.

My daughter starts her first day of 7th grade tomorrow.  Every so often when I look at her I see the young lady she is becoming.  Other times I still just see my little girl.  Until the hormones start raging.  Then she's definitely a tween.  

We leave on a short 3 day adventure this weekend for camping, carnival rides, a concert, and hopefully a little bit of biking.  Just me and the kids.  My daughter is excited, and it makes me realize we need to start doing a lot more of this because it won't be long before she doesn't want to hang out with mom anymore at all.  

It will be my son's first concert, and considering I have seen this band play 4 times before, I know he's going to love it!  I've cultured both of my children with an eclectic mix of music as they've grown up.  I love to watch their passion for music grow to match my own.  So grateful to still have plenty of interests to share with them....

Well, I'm covered from head to toe in poison oak from my trail riding adventures.  Truly; head to toe.  My ankles and my face, and everything in between.  Muahahahaha.  It actually just makes me smile to see my beat up legs and poison oak all over my body.  It's a nice reminder of my adventures!  Until spots start itching incessantly.  I think I should have been a bit more descriptive when I spoke with the doctor's office today, as they said they couldn't fit me in until 10am tomorrow.  I'll sleep well tonight with some benadryl, I presume.

Post Road Trip Reflection

To all the people I met along the way; In your world I may have been just a face that passed through one day, but in my world you played a role in memories I will cherish forever.  

Make room for sadness, but leave out the bitterness.

Open your eyes to new experiences.  Allow your wounds to heal; don't let them rob you of life.  You will brush past many fellow travelers on your journey, and each one deserves to be approached with a kindness that is free of our former resentments.

Look past your character flaws.  We all have them.  Gaze at your strengths instead.

Others will deal with life as they see fit.  At the end of the day, I can only steer the course of my own, and know that when I lay my head down at night it's myself I have to sleep with.  I want to sleep well.  

We all feel the need to push our limits sometimes.  None of us escapes the burns we receive when we dare to stroke the fire.

We all have character flaws.  In that we are not alone; but we often try to live with it alone.  This trip has reminded me this life is meant to be shared.

My stepfather once said that I would be quite the catch....if anyone could catch me.  He was wrong.  I don't need to be caught; I just need someone who can keep up.

Shoney's is alive and well in the South!

I would love to call Arkansas home.

God does exist.  Just not always the way others would have us believe.

Road Trip Trail Photos

I'm not posting pics of any of the people I met, as I didn't get anyone's permission to do so. However, there are plenty of trail pics :)

Road Trip Day Ten

 8/19/2012

"Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go.  But no matter, the road is life."

~Jack Kerouac~

I woke up around 9am this morning.  Not too bad after a late night.  I visit with my friends over coffee, then set out for a bike ride as they leave for a church event.  I had an easy ride today on paved trails around a park and a lake.  I shower and head out to find my friends and tell them goodbye.  I can't find them at the church, or get ahold of them, so I head to Starbucks for coffee and writing.  I'm posting on my blog when I catch the eye of a guy sitting on the patio a couple tables away.  I had seen him ride up on a very different looking bike.  He starts to stand up from his table, so I catch his attention and ask him about his bike.  He starts telling me about how they fold up so they travel well.  I tell him my name, shake his hand, and we start swapping stories.  

His name is Chris Ralles, and it turns out he's currently the drummer on tour with Pat Benetar!  He drummed for Kenny Loggins for 23 years previously.  He has also played for other artists like Madonna, The Eagles, and Hootie and the Blowfish!  You can check out his bio here.

He pulls up a chair across from me, and we end up visiting for about 2 hours.  I talked about my adventures, and he talked about life on the road.  We actually covered a lot more ground than that, but the theme of all of our conversing wrapped around experiences and lessons learned in life.  Talk about someone who takes life in stride.  We talked about the journey of life, how we choose to face it, and what it looks like when we have to pull back sometimes.  He is currently touring with Journey and Loverboy, and he says they are both amazing bands to be touring with, as the people are just good, kind individuals.   

He's the second guy I've met on this trip who has a passion for bicycling, so of course this was a big topic of conversation for us as well.  When I mentioned that I thought I had possibly bent the front rim on my bike, he offered to take a look at it.  He came over and solved the problem immediately; not a bent rim after all, just some simple adjustments.  We start talking about tune ups and bike care, and he explains to me how I can fix the gears on my bike that haven't been working properly.  Chris, you rock!  I couldn't have picked a better way to end my trip than visiting with such a kind soul at Starbucks over coffee and bikes!

We head our separate ways, and I get back on the interstate towards home.  I'm passing through Oklahoma when it starts raining.  I see a biker pulled over under a bridge trying to seek cover, so I think, "Poor guy!  That would suck to be on a bike in the rain!"  I feel a kinship with him now, after all, I ride a bike too. Not so different; except mine has pedals.  

 I pull over on the shoulder, put it in reverse, and back up to ask him if he wants to sit in a dry car while he waits out the storm.  He comes over, hops in, we exchange names, and I make a new friend!  He had spent the weekend riding in Harrison, AR.  I asked him if he was there for the bluegrass fest, and he said he came just to ride, but he did get to enjoy some bluegrass.  I started telling him about my travels, and he says, "Well, when I saw a young lady stopping to let an old biker sit in the car out of the rain, I knew you were some kind of something!" We chatted on about the things of life, and soon the rain let up.  I told him I needed a photo for my scrapbook, so we snapped a shot together, shook hands, and set off on the road again.  

I stopped to pick up my daughter and her friend up from my mother's house, and we set out on the last 3 hour leg of the trip.  My daughter's friend was sitting in the backseat listening to the radio on her mp3 player.  She has stations set that she listens to at home.  She obviously doesn't realize when you travel across the state you have to change stations.  So, she exclaims, "I'm listening to my regular station and they are playing Mexican music!  And guess what?  All the words are in Spanish!"  Bahahahaha!

Kids.....you gotta love'em.  I drop her off at home, head to my own house, and sigh as I pull up in my driveway.  When I get in my cat is right there waiting for us.  Oh boy.  Sammie is needy.  Really needy.  I can already tell that after 10 days of no attention, he's going to be glued to my side for days to try and make up for it.  So much for anymore solitude....I'm home...

Road Trip Day Nine

8/18/2012

"Take from vandals all you want to

But please don't trade it in for life.

Replace the feeble with the fable

Wake on up from your slumber

And open up your eyes"

~Bo Rinehart~

Last night was chilly, but I slept well.  I woke groggy at 8am and slowly started getting ready for a bike ride.  I thought of making coffee first, but decided to head out in case it turned out to be a hot day.  I set out on the trails again, this time looping back on a different trail than yesterday.  Something feels different today, and I notice I'm not feeling so confident on the rocks.  I was definitely not on my "A" game today.  I hit 2 trees.  The first one I smashed into on my right side.  The second time my reflexes were quicker and I reached out and hugged the tree in time to break my fall.  I crashed so many times on these trails that  I couldn't even begin to keep count.  One time I almost took a nose dive off a ridge and down a steep hill.  The trail felt more treacherous today than it did yesterday.  Then I took a huge spill, went over my handlebars, and face-planted on a very large rock.  I got my hands up just in time to break my fall, but my legs were pretty banged up and my ankle was throbbing.  So I'm lying there wondering what kind of mess I've gotten myself into this time.  After a few minutes I decided my ankle was feeling better so I started to get up and walk the bike back down the trail.  When I arrived at flatter ground I started riding again, but my leg was aching and my confidence was even more shaken than before.  After 3 more solid wipe-outs I decided this wasn't bravery, it was stupidity, as I have yet to buy a helmet.  These trails are definitely not safe without one.  I'm truly disappointed and even mad as I'm walking my bike back out of the trails again.  I realize that I've lost my way again just as my new biking friend winds around the corner on his bike.  We chat for a few minutes and I show off the bloody scrapes on my legs.  I'm wearing them like badges now, even though I was feeling less than confident just before I ran into my friend.

He says we're about 3/4 of a mile from the trail head, and we walk to it together.  All the while he's talking to me about bikes and trails.  We share stories, and he gives me plenty of valuable tips to consider for my future adventures.  His bike rocks.  It's definitely made for trails like this.  

I told him about how I felt out on the trails today, and I felt so much better to hear him say he has days like that too.  I tried to explain to him how I'd felt a bit uneasy and unconfident today and I was getting pissed at myself out there for not feeling more courageous.  I kept thinking, "You just spent the last week tackling so many obstacles and fears!  What the hell is your problem today?  Where is your mojo?"  He smiled and shared some of his own experiences with days like that.  My anger dissipated when I realized I was not alone.  I also felt pretty damn good when he told me I must hold my own pretty well, because these trails are not for beginners.  My head feels bigger just saying that.  :)  Oh yeah!  I can rock the bike ride!

At noon I'm still sitting at my campsite adding the details of the morning to my blog.  This is the first day I have hung around a campsite, made coffee, and just relaxed instead of rushing back to the road.  I listened to NeedToBreathe's "The Reckoning" album and felt like I could have stayed another week right here in this little spot.  

My friend stopped by and we chatted a while before he left to go explore his next camp site and trails.  I couldn't get my percolator to percolate, and he helped me figure it out, thank goodness!  Soon he gets back in this car with his sweet dog, Katie, and heads out on the road for adventures of his own.

I stuck around writing for a while before I decided to shower and head back out on the road towards my college friend in Springdale, AR. 

Then I changed my mind and decided to go back to the historic district in Eureka Springs and hang out for the day.  2 curb checks later and I finally found a parking spot.  I headed out for a coffee shop the family at the Razorback gift shop told me about.  I found it fairly easily.  It's the Eureka Daily Roast.  A nice couple were running the show, and they informed me of some trails and races that are held here in Eureka Springs.  They sound out of my league, as I have resigned to the fact that I need to get some practice on simpler trails before I attempt anything quite like I did this morning.  They had toasted marshmallow syrup!  I was so excited; not many places carry that flavor and I love it in a breve.  They had an amazing pineapple carrot pecan bread, among other deserts.  Today's my last free day....so I bought a big cookie for the road too!  The owner said they have 2 amazing ladies in town who do all the baked goods for them.  I could have bought one of each.

There were tiny flecks of dirt all over my ankles when I finished my bike ride and shower today.  I tried to wipe them all off, but couldn't get them all.  Sitting in the coffee shop I saw one of them crawling and realized they must be some kind of little tick.  Shit.  My leg are covered in scratches, and my right calf already has a bruise appearing that looks about the size of a softball.  I love it!  

I stop at the pavilion to listen to some bluegrass, and surprise, surprise!  I make another new friend.  We visit, and he shows me a few places downtown and gives me some of the history of the springs here in Eureka Springs.  

Before too long I venture back out on the road to see my old college roommate and her family again.  I arrive around 9pm, and once again we are up until 4am visiting.  Just before my friend goes to bed I am once again admiring my legs, and she says, "Yes, Betty.  They are beautiful."  I do a happy dance and tell her, "I know!"  

Road Trip Day Eight

8/17/2012

"On the outside

You’re free to roam

On the outside

We found it home

On the outside 

There’s more to see 

On the outside 

We choose to be"

~Bo Rinehart~

My adventures started at 10am this morning.  Since I once again missed a morning bike ride, I decided to find a coffee shop to write.  I visited with Tyler Lee for a little bit, then we said our goodbyes and I set out to write.  When I got back on the road I had a 3 hour drive ahead of me to get to Eureka Springs, AR for a Bluegrass festival.  The highways that connect Conway to Eureka Springs are beautiful.  Note to self:  Avoid the interstates; take the highways and backroads.  

On each leg of this journey towards home I find myself driving slower and slower.  I knew it would come to an end, but I still wish time would slow down.  I finally arrive in Eureka Springs, AR, and I drive along the historic loop through town.  The road is winding and lined with shops.  This town is adorable.  I could definitely live here.  There is so much character and culture.  

There's supposed to be a bluegrass festival in town for three days, and I was hoping to catch it on day one.  After winding through the loop I'm back on the highway and realize I'm leaving town.  I turn back and stop at a store called The Razorback.  I go in and start chatting with the young lady behind the counter.  Her grandparents bought the store 47 years ago, and it's been in the family every since.  I started telling her about my adventures, and then her sister and mother walked into the room.  I shared some more, and the mother began to tell me about Leatherback Lake here in Eureka Springs, just down the road from the shop.  She said the bike trails there were great, and we started sharing biking experiences.  I felt right at home.  Talk about good people, good conversation, and just all around good atmosphere.  What a beautiful family!  I felt a definite kinship with them as I stood there sharing stories and laughing.  

If you ever pass through Eureka Springs, AR, I definitely recommend a stop at the Razorback.  You won't be disappointed.  

After visiting for probably 30 minutes with the delightful family that runs the shop, I started perusing their merchandise more.  They have an awesome collection of metal signs that hang on walls.  It's an eclectic assortment of gifts and souvenirs.  I ended up purchasing an adorable little owl coffee mug.  My second mug purchase on this trip.  Not sure I'll have room for them when I get home,  but I'll make it work.  ;)  I could have spent the rest of my money here, I saw so many things I would have loved to buy for friends and family.  Alas, my budget is tighter here nearing the end of my trip, so I settled for the mug and some rockin' bumper stickers.

They informed me that the bluegrass fest here in town is just bands playing at a bunch of little venues along the historic loop.  Damn the luck!  I thought I was going to be attending my first bluegrass camping fest.  

They gave me a map of the town, pointing out some cool spots to hang out, and I set out for Leatherback lake to set up my tent.  Once there I see a car with Missouri plates at a site near the trail head.  There's also a bike lying near the car.  I decide to camp around the corner and meet a new friend the old-fashioned way instead of making  a new Skout friend.  Before too long I see him walking down into the meadow where the camps are, and I wave and approach.  I find out he only lives about an hour from me.  We hit it off, talking about camping and biking and such.  When I find out he's been riding for 17 years I knew our paths had crossed for good reason.  Thanks again to the family at the Razorback for directing me on a path that led me to this new friend!  

I ask if he wants to check out the town tonight and grab a bite to eat.  We agree to head out after I finish a ride on the trails.  I set out to ride, and quickly discover that these trails will be the most difficult and treacherous I have ridden on yet.  I wipe out left and right.  This terrain is rough.  Plateaus that drop off, trails that wind around ridges with sharp turns and narrow passages.  There are obstacles galore.  The trails also wind over creek beds every so often that are comprised of rocks of all shapes and sizes.  It's a rough ride, but I'm laughing the whole way.  I started riding down a winding ridge on one trail, and even as I was using my brakes the bike kept rolling, so I gripped my handlebars tight, unclipped my shoes, and alternated putting my legs down for balance as I zipped quickly around corners, knowing with each one that with one wrong move my trail ride might come to an end.  Talk about an adrenaline rush!  Many times on these trails I came upon sections of trail where I knew all I could do was grip the handlebars tight, keep pedaling, and just hope for a safe outcome.  Many times I felt elated as I wondered how the hell I made it without a crash and burn.  

When I was nearing the end of my ride I was riding off trail across large plateau rocks.  There was standing water in some places and I started to ride through one of them.  Note to self:  Moss grows on rocks under standing water.  One second I'm upright, the next I'm lying in water with my bike on top of me.  I'm still smiling as I stand up and see a guy in the distance hiking the trails.  My first crash and burn witness.  He asks me if I'm alright, and I laugh as I stand up, get back on the bike and say, "I'm alright!  It's all part of the ride!"  

I get back, shower ( they have the cutest little country bathroom here that I have ever seen), and head to town with my new friend.  We find Chelsea's, the bar/restaurant my friend's at the Razorback suggested.  Supposedly they have amazing pizza.  We almost got to find out.  We sat for at least half an hour before we were told that it would take at least 1.5 hours for the food to be ready because they were so backed up.  Disappointed, and a bit perturbed, we forfeited the $5 cover we had paid, and set out looking for food; this time starving.  We find a little spot and when they tell us they are serving for 5 more minutes we quickly grab menus and order the first thing that catches our eye.  

I also ordered some fried pickles, as my friend had never had them before.  They were a hit!  You know I'm on vacation if I'm eating food that's been fried...

We finish up and head back out to the lake.  Once there we sit and visit for at least another hour before retiring to bed.  I hope we stay in touch, as I'd love to have a new bike riding buddy; and this guy know's his stuff.

I'm getting some things together when I see some creature nosing around in the trees just feet from the entrance to my tent.  I felt kind of silly as I dove into my tent and zipped it as quickly as I could.  I had no idea what that thing was, but I didn't want to run the risk of finding out.  It was as big as a medium sized dog; and he was obviously not afraid of campers.  I'm lying here in my tent now typing, and the creature has come back to my  camp site.  It sounds like it has found a plastic bag that it's digging through.  I wonder if he's getting into my tent bag that I left lying outside the tent.  I guess when I wake up I'll find out.  I brought the mattress in the tent with me, but I was so exhausted I said screw it, and stretched it out for a ground cover, but decided there was no way I was blowing the damn thing up again; not worth the effort.  I covered it with 2 towels and a blanket.  I'm turning in now, and hoping tonight doesn't get as cold as the other night.

Day Seven and A Half

Day Seven and A Half

8/16/2012

"That which you fear the most, could meet you halfway."

~Eddie Vedder~

Today's quote inspired by Tyler Lee.

The time on the road in between destinations has been full of reflection.  It's been a delicious balance of companionship and solitude.  I've been mulling some things over, so I haven't mentioned them yet, as the ideas have still been rolling around in my mind, and the words have struggled to rise up from my emotions.  The friend I was so excited to meet in Chattanooga?  It turns out he's married.  I didn't know that when I met him, although it had crossed my mind more than once.  I put it all together the day after I left the 'Noog (as they call it in Chattanooga).  I've tried to shake it off, as I haven't wanted to allow this to spoil my trip.  

It hasn't though.  I would be a fool to let something like that take away from the beauty of this journey.  I've definitely felt a heaviness in my heart at times, but then I tell myself a guy like that isn't worth my sorrow.  I'll save my sorrow for things I truly miss; when I look back I may not even remember him specifically.  I'll remember instead the wisdom I take away from this experience.  I'll remember that life goes on, that we are all broken in our own way, and that I still have so many more travels to look forward to on the journey of life.  

I was listening to a song by JJ Heller yesterday that says it well.

"Cloudy days will blow away

And the sky will not always be gray

If I have sunshine

A rainbow is coming my way"

Or Hellen Keller says it like this:

"Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows"

I would say, "What a shame," but the truth is, most of us have been guilty of searching for love in all the wrong places at one point or another in life.  He has some wonderful qualities and character traits; otherwise I wouldn't have been attracted to him in the first place.  He also turned me on to many wonderful music artists I had never before heard of.  I'm grateful for all of those things.  It's a day for quotes I guess because now I'm thinking of this:

"I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are truly good at heart."

~Anne Frank~

I'm bathing in the light of forgiveness today.  Grace and mercy shine bright.

I would like to live extending as much grace and mercy to others as I receive myself.  This is sometimes easier said than done.  This time however, probably because of my current state of mind, it feels more simple.  Many times I have looked everywhere for an escape; aside from looking within my own heart.  Stubbornly holding on to what I know is not good for me, instead of facing what I know to be true and good.  Afraid to let go and afraid to look within.  

We are all fellow travelers; all of us stumbling along the debris on our own trail.  Our paths often intersect; and sometimes we collide.  

If you're reading this dear friend....I forgive you.  I hope you allow yourself grace and discovery as well, so you might find the peace you seek.  It's all about the journey.

In my world....today is about letting go.

'Til we know the pain of the broken heart

We won't walk through fires we didn't start

So just hold on to the way it is tonight

We can learn to love the darkness and the light

I'm on your side

~Bo Rinehart~

Road Trip Day Seven

8/16/2012

"Well behaved women rarely make history."  

~Eleanor Roosevelt~

I forgot to mention that I stopped and picked up an inflatable twin mattress yesterday before getting to the park.  Thinking only of saving money, I bought a cheap bed and no pump.  I figured I had my bike pump.  After pumping for what felt like half an hour, I sat down and started blowing the damn thing up myself.  A couple walked by and laughed as they saw me perched there blowing up a freakin twin size mattress by mouth.  Obviously they were smart enough to invest in the electric pump.

My first night camping was hot.  Last night it was cold, and damned if I didn't bring any warm clothes with me.

I woke at 5:55 am!  Woo hoo!  I did it!  haha!  But the park I'm at had no bike trails, so I headed out hoping to find one that did by a decent hour.  I didn't peruse any maps though, so I ended up deciding I would have to ride in the evening again after more stops and planning along the way.  

I meant to bring my camera with me on this trip, but I forgot.  I picked up a new one at Target earlier in my travels, but I've been hopeless at remembering to use it.  Ah well, I have the memories!  I stop in Conway,  AR on my way to a bluegrass festival.  I want to snap a photo with my friend from the Relient K concert.  The weather is getting nasty, so I forgo bluegrass and ask my friend if he wants to hang out another night.    He's working until 8 pm or so, so I head to a tattoo parlor to check on the price for the tattoo I want.  

Damn!  My last tattoo was 12 years ago, and a tattoo artist friend did it for $40, so I was shocked when they quoted me $200 and told me that was discounted because the artist thought it was a cool tat and he really wanted to do it.  I still wanted to do it until I found out you can't swim for a month after getting a new tattoo.  Come on now, I just bought 4 new swimsuits before this trip (ridiculous, I know), and I want to wear them before the summer's end.

I grab a bit to eat and set out for Pinnacle State Park just outside of Little Rock.  The skies are still brewing, so it's getting dark early.  2nd day in a row I have pulled up to bike anxious and short on time.  So, for the 2nd day in a row I make sure the coast is clear, decide the park restrooms are a waste of time, and change into bike gear right there standing next to my car.  Yes!  I can't do that at home!

I have trouble finding a bike trail again, even though the brochure clearly pictured the Jackfork trail right here at Pinnacle State Park.   I finally found a trail called Rabbit Ridge mountain biking trail and raced on eagerly.  Every trail here is different from the last.  This one has been inlaid with various rocks to mark the trail.  The trail is literally comprised of rocks of all shapes and size that have been set into the earth in a winding path through narrow gaps in trees.  

This was definitely going to be a new experience.  Just into my ride, still unsure about the unfamiliar terrain, twice my front tire catches on a large rock, and as my handle bars are rocked to the side, I come within inches of side-swiping a tree.  Call me crazy, but what a rush!  Haha!  For the first time I feel like I would be wise to start wearing a helmet when I ride.  

I get the hang of the trails quickly, and start winding through the trees with more speed.  Soon I found myself deep in the woods, not on a trail, and completely unsure of my whereabouts.  The sky is looking worse, it's getting dark, and I'm thinking, "Shit.  One of these days when my eagerness and determination override logic, I might find myself in a real predicament."

Persistence says, not today!  I finally figure out there are yellow marker posts with numbers every so often to keep you on course.  When I find myself at the entrance I think, "I've got this down."  So I took the trail around again, this time counting numbers on posts.  And once again knowing that I am pushing the limits of daylight.  When I come riding out of the trail I'm shocked when I don't see my car.  My heart drops as I realize there must be another entrance to the trail.  Then I laugh at myself when I remember that I parked over at the Arboretum and rode the backroads until I found this bike trail.  Haha.  

On the drive back to Conway I'm still in my bike gear and I keep having the sensation that my feet are clipped to the pedals in my car.  Strange, very strange.   I pull up to my friend's house just before he gets home from work.  We stayed up laughing together for hours.  It was a blast!  I read him the stories of my travels from my blog.  He critiqued.  I must say, he had some great ideas though!  I'll definitely have to go back and elaborate more on my travels.  In the midst of conversation and laughter he would randomly shout out, "There's some more blog material for you.  Boom!"  Dear Lord, now someone's helping me write my blog!  He also informed me that I should refer to him in my blog by a name, just to add some color and character to the story.  I have permission to call him Tyler.  Tyler Lee.  <-- That one's for you buddy! ;)

I've never seen anyone eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the way he does.  Peanut butter on both slices of bread with jelly piled thickly in between.  The heavenly moans he emitted while eating told me I really need to try it when I get home.  Either that or he just had a ravenous appetite for some reason.  When he soon informed me that the chicken he was cooking would be done in 11 minutes and 26 seconds, I knew it was the latter.  We played a game of playing each other our favorite songs or videos on the computer.  "Tyler Lee" taught me the special handshake he reserves for times when he's been really impressed.  We finally call it a night, and I fall asleep saying prayers of thanks for friends and a roof over my head as the weather storms outside the open window.  

Road Trip Day Six

 8/15/2012

"Leap and the Net Shall Appear"

~John Burroughs"

After a late night phone call from a dear friend that I had been trying to reach, I determined that it was no longer necessary to wake up at 5am.  By the time I went to bed last night I knew there was no way I was waking up early for a bike ride.  I woke up, packed, checked out of my hotel, and left to meet my friend (thanks Skout!) for a cup of joe.  I had anticipated the possibility of this particular meet up for weeks.  It didn't disappoint.   I don't know what time he got there, but we stayed and visited until 4pm.  Even after hours of visiting I felt reluctant to leave.  We hugged each other goodbye; more than once (he gives great hugs).  Then I set off again for the open road.  This time I knew I would crash at another state park, but I had no idea yet which one.  I decided I would drive until 6pm, then stop so I could hit some trails with the bike before it gets dark.  6 turned to 7, but I finally arrived at Lebanon State Park.  I was still dressed in skinny jeans and high heels, but I was determined to get the tent set up so I could bike.  No one was around to see it, but I'm sure I was quite a site running deftly around in heels and getting the tent up in 5 minutes or less.  Promise.  I was that determined.  And I rocked it.  It would have made great photography for one of those posters you see that says something like this:  "This is what I felt like setting up the tent in heels.  This is what I actually looked like setting up the tent in heels." 

 I knew it would get dark soon, so I rode all around the park (turns out it's not that big), but stayed on the paved roads.  All the trails I found said no bicycles (wah-wah).  I'll stop at the office in the morning, but if there are no bike trails here I'll try to leave as quick as I can for the nearest state park that does have trails.

Some other campers are near me now setting up camp.  This place is practically deserted!  Why the hell did they have to grab a spot next to me?  Asshats.

When I drove out here I was going well over the speed limit most of the way.  Leaving Chattanooga today I kept finding myself driving under the speed limit.  I smiled.  I display a lot of expression when I am in deep thought; often unaware until someone informs me.  I began this trip a bit anxious and nervous about the unknown.  I'm turning back to close the gap between myself and home.  Now I'm slowing down, taking it all in, and relishing what has been and what will be.  My journey is not over yet, but the days are winding down.  

Another valuable piece of advice my college friend gave me was, "Fake it 'til you make it!"  It's come in handy often.  If you're feeling less than confident, remember what it's like when you are confident.  You already know how to be confident, so fake it 'til you make it!  It's surprising when you're calm and comfortable before you know it.   And in retrospect you see that you never really had to fake it; you just believed in yourself.
It wasn't so long ago that I found myself becoming bitter in attitude.  Life had sprung a lot of surprises on me at a time when I was fixated on a plan of my own.  It rocked my reality and left me stumbling blindly for several years; struggling to hold onto hope.  I had been walking through a desert, and wondering if I might die from thirst.  

I've recently stepped into an oasis.  My freedom to choose increases daily.  I just keep asking myself, "What have you got to lose?"

Well, I've been braver tonight.  I've sat at a picnic table outside my tent as I type.  However, I can hear creatures stirring in the woods now, so I'm calling it a night.