Well, "the guy" text me last night. We ended up saying a lot over text, so I finally picked up the phone and called him. It was a nice civil conversation. I shared a lot of things about my faith, my own struggle with drug abuse, my sister's death, and how drug abuse is often the symptom of more core issues. I was very honest about how I felt deceived and foolish. Then I was very honest with him about the life is he providing for his son. I talked to him about how he felt about himself if he were to call himself an addict. I asked him some probing questions and told him I was fairly certain he was an addict.
I told him that I would not date him anymore, as I really believe he needs to seek help. Then I said something I'm not certain yet about whether or not I should have said. I told him that I would go to an AA or NA meeting with him every Saturday to support him in recovery if that was the road he was interested in taking. I told him I would go some at least, but that I really wasn't so certain I should even be his friend, so I can't make a long-term agreement.
He asked why I would give up my Saturday to do that for him. I told him not to flatter himself, that I could use it too. Free group therapy is good for anybody if you ask me.
Being an addict myself I suppose I just relate to the desire to want to change; however holding back due to shame and isolation. He just moved here from out of state 4 years ago and hasn't made many new friends. He's a single dad with an adorable 6 year old son. He needs someone to be honest with. I don't want to fix him or change him. However it would be nice to see him get some help. Not sure at this point how long my attending meetings with him and talking to him that one day a week will last....I just sure hope I don't end up kicking myself in the ass for this one...
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