Well, God. So I’ve been drinking tonight. Tonight’s events however have given me a shove; a kick in the ass that I’ve desperately needed. My only concern would be that in my current state perhaps I’m just sedated so the pain is not so sharp. Will I wake tomorrow and feel cloaked in a blanket of loneliness?
I hope to feel as empowered tomorrow as I do today. However I know at some point I need to process the hurt feelings. The stabs are pointed inward….
I thought I had grown?
I thought I had changed?
I thought I had grown wiser?
I thought I was doing things differently.
Self-deception sneaks upon me once again; such a fierce and persistent opponent.
A good friend once told me, "If you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?" I want that to be my new motto: Believe in myself. More. And more.
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