Detach much?

How is it that we can feel so alone even when we are surrounded by others?
I get this feeling and begin to wonder if something is missing
I often feel pulled between 2 places
The need to go away and seek change
And the desire to be close to those I love
I don’t know that there is even a right or wrong
When I correlate these thoughts with God all I come up with is that He is at work in my life no matter where I am geographically
How do I know then what my next move shall be?
And why do I have moments of contentment that don’t seem to last?
My faith has been changing for some time now
At times it feels full and rich
Other times I wonder if I am settling for luke-warm
Life is always running ahead of me
I yearn for simplicity
When answers come they are simple
As if all my struggling and searching were just a fight I fought alone
Motivation comes and goes like a distant friend
In between I am full of complacency and longing for sleep
I feel there are things inside of me I put off facing
Like a deer in headlights I freeze in my tracks instead of pursuing the goal
I try and tell myself feelings are just feelings
A person can move ahead in spite of them
My heart however compels me to make sense of them
Something tells me at the root of them lies the road block
Perhaps this is what it means to not live the comfortable life
Perhaps all the questions and doubt draw me nearer the Final Resting Place
In this moment I may feel unsure of much
But I am certain these random musings will never end