Trust Issues

I go through life like I ride my bicycle on trails.  I crash and I fall somedays; but I always get back on the bike.  Typically I even feel more determined to tackle the challenges of the trail.  Some days I get up and say, "This trail is not kicking my ass today."

I learn so much about myself from riding.  It inspires confidence and provides time for meditation.  When life feels like a burden I can recall obstacles I have faced on the trails.  I remember how I have persevered and continued trying until I tackled each place I have struggled to get past.

Some obstacles I have conquered, only to falter in the same place another day when my confidence seems weak and thin.

Some days I soar across rough terrain with my mind's eye on a destination and a fierceness in my heart.  I'm bold.  Not fearless, but unrestrained by fear.  Purpose fuels my inner core.  I leap over obstacles with shouts of joy.

Other days those same obstacles growl at me with a menace and shake my vulnerable heart.  They leave me rattled.  I question my strength and ability.  

In life I find parallel truths.  When I keep my eyes wide open I stay on my feet.  When I begin watching my feet I falter and stumble.

How many times will I learn the same lessons?  I've been speaking of this thought for years; only to speak of it again like it's a new experience.  

Oh inconsistent me.  When will I allow myself  the freedom to let go and love me for me?  In all that I am and all that I have been?   Forget loving the future masterpiece; I want to learn to love my work in progress.

Today on a trail I kept thinking about how I need to trust myself more.  Suddenly God spoke and said, "Or you could just trust me.....and I'll show you how."