Missing You....

I had a good friend once tell me I don't do sad
There's some truth to that statement
Yet life can also bring experiences that make sadness unavoidable
Other times I have endeavored to avoid it
I might put extra time into work
Some times I bake
I'll work out more
Hang out with friends more
Many of my endeavors bring me peace and relief
Still others seem to feed my sense of sadness
This week I've missed someone I've never met
To say it, it doesn't seem possible
But it's truth, because I've felt it
It's like the compassion you might feel for a person upon reading his or her tragic memoir
Or the sadness you feel for a family when you watch their sad tale on the evening news
Except it's more personal
You don't forget it because you put the book down or turn the television off
You feel it pull on your heart strings
A lonely ache spurs thoughts of crawling into bed for a nap
While the same ache tells you to get out of the house and do something
Anything
Meditation and reflection seem pertinent for growth
Yet they are the very things wearing me out
I have thoughts of wondering what I might have done differently
Then reason, experience and love walk in and remind me that dwelling on such thoughts robs me of my confidence and security
That's when I kick myself into action, turn my eyes to my priorities, and will myself to engage in life
Tonight it was window shopping
Then purchasing some new music
A bike ride on my favorite trek out past the highway and back down a secluded trail through town
There are two hills on this ride that are so steep the wind rushing past your ears drowns out the screaming of the locusts, frogs,and crickets
The perspiration on your face dries and you feel the stiffness of the salt left behind as you smile at the road before you
In these moments my heart pounds with adrenaline and a zest for life that leaves my sadness in the shadows