I Hurt When You Hurt.....

My daughter came home from cheer practice today in a more somber mood than usual.  She announced that her first football game is tomorrow, and she isn’t the least bit excited to cheer there.  This is coming from the young girl who has perpetually walked around clapping and cheering since she made the team.  So I asked her why and she told me there’s a girl in her group that has been telling other students at school that she’s terrible at cheerleading.

Now I know I can’t protect my kids from everything.  Sometimes I feel like I can hardly protect them from a lot of shit.  But you would have to know my daughter….

She truly struggles to step out of her shell.  Away from her comfort zone.  When she told me she was trying out for the cheer team I knew this could be a great thing for her.  And I was so proud of her just for trying, regardless of whether she made the team or not.  Then not only did she make the team, she was also told she would be a flyer.  These are the girls who get tossed around during stunts.  Yes!  I was stoked!  I knew she was a bit scared, but once again….I knew this would be great for her.

And now all the enthusiasm she’s had all summer for cheering….well it’s been stepped all over by some other young girl who is supposed to be a part of the same team. 

My heart coursed through a myriad of emotions; anger, sadness, empathy, sympathy, grief.  I know kids can be cruel.  But it feels like my daughter has been the target of so much of the cruelty.  She’ll be the first to tell you she’s not one of the “popular” kids.  I tell her that’s a good thing.  It’s better to be true to yourself than to try to be someone everyone will like. 

I hear about things like this going on and I want to stand up for the underdog.  I want to come up with some creative idea to teach people that our words and actions can have such a deep impact on the people we take them out on.  I want to stare someone in the face and let them know that I’m not going to back down.  I want to scream.  I want to take a time out.  And I want to hold my daughter in my arms while she cries….and tell her that everything’s going to be alright.  That she is loved.  And that she is so much more special than the world is going to make her feel sometimes…..

We all are.  And we all grow weary from the people and things that break us down.  I hope to teach my kids that when they feel like lying down; when they feel like retaliating, they can take that energy, that pain, and use it for something good.  They can believe in who they are.  They can learn when to walk away.  And when to stand their ground.   And I’ll love them every step of the way.