Freedom

The last year has gone by so quickly.  It's been a tough year to say the least.  I finished my courses at the end of May and withdrew from school.  Less than a month has passed and I already know it was the best decision I could have made for myself at this point in time.  I gained a wealth of knowledge in the counseling program, yet I couldn't seem to find the down time I needed to process and apply so much of that knowledge in my own life.  Only weeks out of school and I feel an immense amount of peace that I have been without for some time now.  Much of this peace resonates from the time I've spent meditating on all the things I've learned and experienced this last year.
One of my professors in school spoke to us once about the freedom to choose.  He said that we all have the freedom to choose.  Imagine our freedom to choose being a scale from one to ten. Some clients will walk into your office and their freedom to choose may fall very low on the chart.  Through counseling that number can be raised as the client gains more self-awareness.  Sadly, some people's freedom to choose may never reach it's full potential.
I loved the picture that theory painted for me; it just made sense.  Suddenly, these last few weeks, I have felt my own freedom to choose grow, and the theory has made more sense than ever.  For some time now I've felt that I've been sprinting through life trying to do and be so many things.  Now that I have taken school out of the picture, I've slowed to a nice steady jog.  The scenery offers so much beauty when you slow down enough to truly enjoy it.
I've begun to consider the choices that are really mine to make.  As I begin to see more and more of them, I feel myself being set free.  It feels so simple today.  I can choose whether or not to let someone else get to me.  I can choose to forgive myself.  I can choose to forgive others.  I can choose to be sad.  I can choose to be grateful.   I can choose to believe that I am worthy.  I can choose to believe that I am loved.  I can choose to believe that I am not alone.
I can take any situation and shift the lens of my perspective; and choose to see myself or the experience in a positive light.
Suddenly, I have chosen to love me.  I've given myself permission.  It feels almost too simple or cliche to be true; but it is.
Suddenly I keep seeing Stuart Smalley from SNL sitting in front of the mirror saying, "You are good enough.  You are smart enough.  And dog-gonnit.....people like you!"
Bahahahahaha......
I tell you what though; there's truth in it.......and I am free to choose.