Hopeful

I've recently decided to begin dating again. Now anyone who knows me knows this is no small feat for me to tackle. For many reasons I've spent most of my life staying far from men and relationships. Fear being the biggest reason. Growing up I was often told that I was too sensitive. As an adult it's been said to me, "So what if you're sensitive. If you are, then those people should respect that." I see some truth in that. If I were to take a personality inventory test I would score higher in the feeling category. I always have. Ugh, feelings. That's a love/hate relationship for me. I feel so intensely for others in compassion at times that my heart just aches and I shed tears. I value the fact that I have the capacity to empathize so much with others.
When it comes to my own heart however, I have this run away reflex. Dating is washing it to the surface again. The slightest hint of rejection leaves me wanting to flee back to a life of solitude. I'm striving to face my fears, yet I feel that I haven't completely made sense of them yet. I'm hopeful that when I do I will be able to stand through them.