Another Chapter Has Begun....

Since life is this ever evolving thing, mine has continued to change with the passing years.  In the midst of all the change, I've quit taking the time to process with words posted to this blog.  I've often had times where I have thought to change that.  Yet, my introversion (and possibly insecurities....no, definitely my insecurities) have kept me from doing so.

For the last 3 months I have become more heavily involved with a local chapter called Free Hot Soup KC. It's a community of members who do outreach for the homeless in our area.  It's a beautiful collection of members who want to give back.  Be a light in the darkness.  Bring hope to the homeless.  I'll be honest here; when I first attended one of the outreach Sundays last year, I thought it was a pretty awesome idea, but it was still in its infant stages, and it hadn't quite "taken off" yet.  After attending a few times, I decided to focus my attention on other volunteer projects for the time being.  This year though, the group has blossomed and grown substantially.

I have found that in reaching out to love others, I have also begun learning to love myself more.  Selflessness is a funny thing.  In the right arena, you can give and give and give....and find that your cup is still full.  Mother Teresa once said (I sure do love quoting that wise woman), "I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."  Ah, such truth.  And boy does it ever hurt sometimes.

It used to feel easier to hide.  To stop trusting others.  To protect myself from all the pains of life.  And some days and in some ways I suppose it still does....
But being a part of this group is teaching me that our response really matters.  Mother Teresa also said, "It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start."  These words rang so true when I first became more involved with this group.  Then I found that the more involved I became, the more I got to know the people we serve.  This is the start of relationship.  Which brings the start of the hard stuff; loving people even when you know of all the little idiocycrosies about them that have the potential to drive you mad.  And still loving them anyways.

I'll be honest; I've had days where I've wanted to quit.  But each time I've had to ask myself why, and the answer has always been a desire to walk away in the face of adversity.  To resort to old habits of isolation.  To go it alone because relationship is hard work.  But I'm still here.  And I believe it's time to start spelling things out again.  Because our lives are comprised of stories.  And some of those stories are begging to be heard......