That Elusive Thing Called Peace....

I'm riding a trail tonight in glorious 70 degree temps, feeling inspired, light-hearted, and amicable. Some days I'm more proud of who I am, more confident in myself.  Contemplating the day behind me, I wondered at how at how earlier in the day I had found myself slightly annoyed with another person when I decided to bite my tongue and pray instead of speaking my mind.  It's funny how such small acts of intention can alter our attitude.  Although it wasn't the most difficult experience for me to navigate, it certainly wasn't an easy one either.  And while my face surely betrayed my heart and expressed feelings I was trying to keep a lid on, I kept my cool and pushed through.

It reminded me of a time recently when I had seen this on Facebook and decided to try the challenge myself:

It seriously works.  The day I tried it I found myself on several different occasions beginning to say something which might be perceived as complaining; and I stopped myself.  It took a lot more intention and focus to better filter my thoughts before they turned in to words, but I suck with it, and it paid off.

The motivation to keep it up poured into the following days. Until it stopped. Because I'm human, and I'm so prone to forgetting.  And getting distracted.

Like tonight.  Coming home with a song in my heart after a rewarding trail ride on the bike.  Only to be greeted by children who wish to tattle on one another.  Or start placing blame for a lost object of personal interest.  And after I tucked my little one in, only to hear him call out, "Mom!  Mom!  Mommy!" on three separate occasions, for 3 different inconsequential needs, the peace I had once experienced seemed not just minutes, but hours or days behind me.  And I forgot.

I forgot that when I choose my reaction rather than jumping on board with my every feeling,  I can actually stay more focused.  And walk away much more at ease, and happy with who I've been.  I want that, ya know?  At the end of the day I want to be proud of the choices I've made, and content with my place in this world.  Knowing that whatever impact I have made, however small, has possibly made a positive difference.  That's something I can truly live with.