Rising Above

It was a beautiful day.  It started with a two hour bike ride at 9:30 a.m. in 20 degree weather with a light snow falling softly from the treetops as we hit a beloved trail in the woods.  I can't think of a better way to start my day.  I feel like falling in love with my bike all over again.  I just picked up a part-time gig at a local bicycle shop.  I've been over the top excited for weeks for my first day of work to arrive.

I wasn't disappointed.  And every day it just keeps getting better.  I work with a great crew, I get to learn as much as I want about everything bikes, and I get to talk to people about bikes all day long!  It's a bike lover's heaven.  It's lifting me out of my fog and reminding me to hope for all that is to come.

I've had some days recently when the only things  I could seem to focus on were all the things I don't have.  Rather than all that I do.  Stuck in that place it felt as though I couldn't reach too high for hope.  Just like every time before, I began to choose hope again.  

I've become very aware lately of all the leaning.  Me leaning on you.  You leaning on me.  He's leaning.  She's leaning.  Someone's giving.  Someone's receiving.  And it's a beautiful dance.  It's full of harmony.  Sometimes when you're the one leaning you might feel like a burden.   You're not.  I'm not.  It's all part of the song.  A new verse finding its voice.  Our stories wouldn't be the same without it.

Trials are always present in life.  If we aren't in the midst of them, someone we know is.  We all live with them.  With a smile.  Through tears.  Carried by peace.  Or shuffling through the uncertainty.  Today I'm grateful for the friends and family who walk, stumble, run, and fall through life with me.  Although the vulnerability we share can be scary as hell.....we share it.  And we rise above.  Together.

Here's a good example....

Dear Friend,

This is where I get to tell you how amazing you are :)

We all have break downs; we just don't tell everyone about them.  

Allowing your heart to become bitter and hardened is an option.  But you can also choose to learn to trust again.  Much easier said than done.  What has been done to you has left a huge impression on your heart.  Hell yes it's hard to trust after that.  But you can.  And it's a daily task.  Sometimes moment to moment.  Some days it might come easy.  Others it might not.  

Some days you'll have the courage.  Some days you won't.  

And that's ok.

It's all ok.  

There's nothing wrong with you.  You're hurting.  You're scared.  You're vulnerable.  Not easy pills to swallow.  And sometimes in all of our trying and powering through.....the weight of it all catches up to us.  And we need to stop.

I'm glad you didn't leave town.  I'm glad you broke down.  Sometimes what we need is what we run from the hardest.  God is speaking to you.....otherwise your heart wouldn't be in knots.  I don't know what he is saying, but I know this....

One day you will stand on the other side of it all and know that all of it has made you a better man.

You are already such an amazing person!  God is digging deeper.  Matters of the heart hurt the most.  Some days it might even be hard to look in the mirror....

But you won't regret it.  

This may very well be one of the hardest things you'll ever go through. And there will be more too.  Loved ones will die.  Dreams will die too....

But in the midst of all that....new people and new things are born as well.  Inside of you.....and around you.....

And that is our hope.  That all things will be made new.  And they will.  Because that's God's promise.  

A break down.....it might feel like the end.  But it's also a beginning....

It hurts.  Like ripping off the bandaid. But whatever is underneath needs to breathe.  It wants to heal.  

What a beautiful place to start....

Fresh air.  New life.  Renewed hope.  Surrender. 

You are loved!  Just as you are. Not for what you do.  Because you're God's child.  He hurts when you hurt. And he never leaves your side....

You may be walking through the dark right now.....but he is lighting the way.  You will stumble.  He's there.  It will  hurt.  He's there.  

Keep telling him where you are.  He wants to have those conversations with you....and him you can trust.  He doesn't let us down.  People do that.  And then he teaches us how to forgive.

Forward Motion

I don't hear you speaking to me anymore

Maybe it's all the noise around me

Winter is approaching earlier this year

Inside and out

I know I need you

I catch myself riding waves of feelings

Living in the past

Consumed with the future

Rarely intent on the present

And calling out to you daily

Tears ready to spill in a split second

I'm walking forward

Yet it doesn't feel like progress

Just one foot in front of the other

Am I waiting on you?

Or am I looking the other way?

It's a fog

And I need a Spring day

A cool breeze on my face 

Brighter colors amidst the landscape

Or maybe just a new perspective

And renewed appreciation for what I do have

But a blooming meadow still beckons me

And peace becomes elusive