Begging for excitement

Well, here I am. I don’t have much to say again. Life has just felt like a steady progression lately. Purely moving forward with the daily grind. I’ve been reading less, sewing more. I feel the need for a project. As if I have the time for that. Ah well, you have to make the time for the things you’d like to accomplish in life, eh? My roommate is on vacation this week. I have tried very persistently to fill her vacation days with projects that could use my help. She has gently resisted. I wonder why? Perhaps it’s because she’s on vacation? I’ll start my own project then. My grandmother has bags of gourds. Yes, gourds. She’s the type that used to love being crafty, and then old age caught up with her. She’s also a hoarder. Yes, a hoarder. You’ve seen the shows, right? Alright, so maybe she’s not as bad as some, or at least it would seem that way. I think quite possibly the only reason her house doesn’t look like some you see on the show is because her children or grandchildren make visits to her house and try to make sense of her chaos. Every so many years the fam also orchestrates a big to do and gets together to help grandma “get her stuff together.” It usually results in a large garage sale that leaves grandma feeling “rich” and clutter free for a few weeks. Then she picks back up her old habit of buying crafty things she no longer crafts. Hence, the gourds. She saw something on television once where a woman used dried gourds to make cute little snowmen. She searched Ebay and invested it some gourds. That was years ago. Some of them are still in their boxes. Her sister then heard of her knew endeavors, grew some gourds, and brought them as a gift when she came to visit. Those gourds still sit in trash bags in grandma’s back yard. I on the other hand am still quite crafty in my youth. I plan to rob her of her gourds soon. I’ll ask her first of course. She will hem and haw. I will speak of marvelous gourd plans, and after much debate, or possibly even a few days of mulling the idea over, she will relent and donate her gourds to my worthy cause. I will set out then to begin creating obnoxious creations from worthless gourds. The children will join in on the venture, and the family will be bombarded with colorful, useless gourd gifts for Christmas. Ah, the joys of parenting.
But first, I will refinish an old rocking airplane my mother bought for my son at a garage sale. It’s currently filthy, all the screws are loose, and it’s covered in a cracked and bland choice of primary colors. I will take the entire thing apart, sand it down to its natural finish, and apply a fresh, beautiful coat of pecan colored polyurethane. I’ll complete this project while my daughter is at school. My son will be with me, possibly ransacking the garage and finding exquisite new toys like hacksaws and hammers. If this is the case I’ll likely accomplish nothing very quickly and resort to completing the project while he sleeps. I’m a woman on a mission. I dare you to stand in my way. I once found an old antique chest of drawers marked “free” on a roadside. I brought it home and had it refinished in 2 days. It’s now my son’s dresser. Now, enough chatter, it’s full speed ahead!

A Whole Lotta Nothing

Alright, so it just occurred to me that I’ll be visiting my therapist (haha! Love to say that) in a couple of days, and I have not blogged in awhile. She sure likes to chew on me (very gently) in order to hold me accountable as far as my journal/blog goes. Since she is the only return reader my blog has, I will honor her accountability. That being said, I really feel as if I don’t have a damn thing to talk about lately. Oh you know, I could complain about some of the usual things I find myself complaining about. “So and so dismissed me. It hurt my feelings. As a result I’ve felt angry, alone, or confused.” Yadda, yadda, yadda. Or, how about this. My babysitter quit. My sales are down at work. Somebody buy a dress please! http://stores.shop.com/dresslikeyoumeanit I never have unpacked all the boxes from my move (from 2 months ago). I need to do laundry. I’d like to quit smoking. I need to take the GRE so I can apply to college to begin my masters. I need to choose a college. I need to save money. I need to make money. I need to work out. Or I could talk about what I have been doing. I gave my son a haircut today (no, I don’t have any professional training). I went to a renaissance festival over the weekend. I also went to a dueling piano bar with my little brothers. I had my car repaired after the hail damage. I’ve paid some bills. I’ve slept. I’ve worked. I cleaned my grandma’s kitchen today. I made my grandma dinner. I saw a guy masturbating (pretty sure) in his car in a parking lot today. Or what I like to do. I like to brush my roommate’s dog. I enjoy scrapbooking. I love reading. I love to sleep. I love talking. I like to sew. I LOVE shopping (I even get to do it for a living). I feel very rewarded when I do for others. Or I could tell you what my daughter says about me. Mom, your butt jiggles. Mom, you have a lot of pimples. Mom, you are beautiful. Mom, quit calling yourself fat. Mom, you never let me play with my friends. Mom, you never let me drink soda. Mom, you are the greatest mom ever. Mom, you are weird. Or I can talk about how I often feel. Lonely. Dismissed. Desiring to be noticed by somebody, anybody? Unaccomplished. Lazy. Alone. Depressed. Weary. Busy. Or I can tell you how I’ve felt about myself lately. I’ve felt pretty darn confident (that’s big). I have felt loved. I have felt smart. I have felt very content in my singleness. I have felt useful. I have felt like a good mom.
Alas, my blogging often comes from bouts of depression, or anger, or loneliness, or confusion. I don’t suppose I’ve felt much of that as of late. Therefore I don’t have much to say. But I’ve said a lot anyways. Now, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my 2 follower who may or may not be reading this. And, now I’m signing off. Peace.